$310

We've all been there. You're getting ready to play a gig or you've just gotten a huge offer. You think you're in it for real and you're gonna make some big bucks on this one. And then you start discussing payment, and the phone goes silent for a few seconds or your contact scrunches his eyebrows quizzically, and you hear those fatal words for any gig: "I thought you'd...ya know...do it for free. Right?"

So here's the question, what's the most outlandish gig you've ever been asked to play for free? Whether it's a musical (with countless hours of rehearsing), a wedding and reception, whatever. Just post with your stories!

I have accepted free gigs when they were offered up front that way. However, my most disgusting almost free gig was for a local theater company. It required weekly three-hour rehearsals for three months, two dress rehearsals and three weeks of three, four-hour (with travel) performances. I gave them a bargain rate of $300 for the whole commitment. On the eighth night of the run, the orchestra manager came to me and said, "We're short of money. Will you take $100 less?" I told him I wasn't happy that he had waited till the day before the gig ended to tell me, but I was willing to help out.

Next day, I got my check. Didn't open it right away. A week later, I found the check was for $100 -- $200 less than I'd agreed to play for initially. I called the OM and he said it was "An oversight" that would be corrected. That was three years ago. Still haven' received the other $100 and I haven't played for them since. And I will not unless they sign a contract. I sympathize with amateur companies like this, but I don't think they should hold this "play for the love of music" crap over a musician's head. I work hard, I'm reliable and I know my parts. Apparently they are willing to have people play for free who miss rehearsals, miss entrances, and play sloppily.

Here's a funny story: My first gig on bass was at a friend"s sister's wedding for $35 -- for the whole band! (it was 1965). At the end of the reception, the bride's father asked us if we'd take $15 an "some gum." We said no!

I think my most outrageous free gig is one still to come. My band is playing a show in Orlando for a major Christian group, Shane and Shane and they are only covering gas and lodging,but we figured it was good exposure and still said heck yes. But it definately cut some costs for the show overall, more money for Shane and Shane

We had a separate thread here on MGR about playing for free or "pay to play" gigs. I can see playing for expenses at a major show just for the exposure. I'm not so sure I'd want to play for the door in a club, or for free in a club unless I was sure it would lead to steady paying gigs. But I'm not 20 years old anymore. I have a few friends who routinely play as the opening act for free in clubs just to get exposure.

Just this past Monday my band was asked to come play a small bar right outside of Nashville. Our manager talked to them and apparently they could house a band of our size and meet all of our input and monitor requirements. We load up our gear from the studio and head out. When we arrive we walk in and see a stage the size of a Toyota Prius and one microphone. After talking it over as a band we decided that we could make it work and I approach the their booking agent to ask about set up. We start talking and I realize this guy has no clue whats going on...so I approach the stage and realize that there is no mixer, no monitors, two passive mains and one microphone with a 1/4" cable.

Needless to say we weren't able to play the gig...and lesson learned. Even if a venue says they have all the gear - scout any location you haven't played at before you book the date.

I was getting ready to book my jazz group for a wedding gig. The bride (of COURSE) had picked out all of the songs herself. We just needed to play them for her. Everything from Somewhere Over the Rainbow to I Hope You Dance (never understood why that song got played at weddings). So I would have to arrange all of these tunes for rhythm section and horns and singer, and, naturally, rehearse all of them for the gig. Well into 20 or 30 hours of work before we played both wedding AND reception. She continued to say throughout the booking process that we WOULD be paid. I finally told her a quote after everything that I found very reasonable. She sent back one of the most irate e-mails I have ever gotten, going from cutesy Betsy to Bridezilla in 1.6 seconds, and railed us for unprofessionalism at the same time she told us about how well we would be paid....

...in food.

She intended to pay us by giving us dinner. Sorry Tootse. No dice. I never found out what dinner was, but unless it was gold plated and trade-able to the nearest jeweler/pawn shop for some serious cash, I probably wasn't interested.

I once played at a private party for the Mellon family (bigshots in Pittsburgh who have tons of money). They had "bought" the band on an auction at a local public TV station. They paid $300 -- to the station -- for our seven-piece band. We played four hours at their home, where they has black servants in white coats and gloves serving food. They allowed us to eat, and at the end of the night the head of the family came over to the group leader and said, "Here's a little something for your band." It was a $20 bill. This was in 1971 and a dollar was worth a lot more, but even them it worked out to less than $3 a man.

Whoa. That's ridiculous. Sounds like Wal-Mart style Walton family greed right there. Ew. The only really rich gig I ever had the chance to play was a while back when the saxophonist in our group got us a gig playing for a Bayer corporation Christmas dinner. His dad knew some of the higher ups and got us an in to play the dinner. When we got done his dad's boss invited us back to their house from the country club that the company rented out for the day. It was probably the most massive house I'd ever been in, and I remember the biggest wraparound couch I'd ever seen. The husband and wife who'd hired us took us aside and told us how much they liked us and just handed us an envelope. We figured it was the money, maybe with a note.

We opened it up that night when we got in the car to find that they'd written us a thank you note and doubled our agreed salary to $400, on top of buying us whatever we wanted for dinner at the country club, which was pretty fancy. To four 17-year-olds? Best. Night. Ever.

I played a gig in my home town Grand Junction, Colorado for a bunch of richies. It was a private party at a mansion similar to what you are describing Shack. We agreed on a price and they told us our dinner would be included. We arrived and loaded in and saw that there was a very up scale catering company finishing up the dinner which was a choice between filet mignon or halibut. We thought, sweeeet what a dinner. After we played a couple hours we took a break for dinner started heading for the goods. The guy that hired us took us to our "private table" and gave us two pepperoni pizzas and said "Great Job Guys." We couldn't help but laugh at our mediocrity.