Fender Review: Squire Standard Series

History:

Purchase: Beeing a 46 year old bald physician, I went to a local guitar shop to by a start guitar package (Squire + Peavy) to my 10 year old son. The shop was a local guitar/Hi-Fi shop in Bergen, Norway. When my sons guitar teacher suddenly moved to Oslo, I "inherited" the package by a Soprano method, and became instantly addicted. The following is my description of the patient-physician relationship between me and the item that we paid about 500 US Dollars for.

What I Like About This Fender Squire Standard Series: When I first met the patient she had a sexy, green coloured body only dressed by six steel strings, and three knots that made her voice change. The neck was beautiful, pale with black beauty spots and ended in a head with remarkable hat where the six strings ended. During our meetings, she always wanted to hang around my neck, while I gently applied my fingers on her steel dress both on the body as well as on the neck. She then changed an began to sing in different modes and tunes. When I touch the dress in a hard way she could sound agressive, when I touched her gentle she sounded so sweet. My left hand on her neck made her either sound in or out of tune. When I touched her knots the voice increased in volume or changed colour. She even had a small handle which also changed the quality of her voice. As you already have guessed all my professionalism and ethics as a physician was lost, and I found myself involved in a exhausting sexual-soulful-physical-never-ending relationship. When I broke strings on her dress I rushed to the shop to replace them not to make her angry, I polished her daily, hung her around my neck and forgot to go to bed at the same time as my wife. Instead I spent whole nights picking and nourishing her. Every day after work I had to see her and feel her body aginst mine. She moved into my house and into my life and made my fingers as well as heart bleed..

What I Do NOT Like About The Fender Squire Standard Series: Yesterday, to my surprise she asked me to find her a lover that should be a Fender Standard Stratocaster to join her in my living room. I was devasted, she did not love me! Relax, she said I always be with you, I just need a match. I do not like the idea of her placed beside such an item in our house. I mean what could be happening during the nights?? However, as a regular slave I followed her instructions and found an adress on the Internet where I submitted this review of her to cath the interest of a male Fender..

Fender Squire Standard Series Quality Rating: Green body with a light smell of a thousand mothers. It fits your own as a glove. A neck that you just want to touch all the time. A head with a modern hat, and not to forget, a dress of only six steel strings that don`t leave anything unseen. The finish, texture, feeling and soul of this item cannot be described without referring to brands as Cartier, Boss, Armani and others. She lights my fire, but I am sorry to say that she wants a new lover.

Review Summary: Please, you must not allow this review to win the competition. A stallion Fender in my house will destroy my life!! By the way, my son has started to touch her, and I see in his eyes what is happening. She has bewitched him as well. Could anybody come an rescue us!!!!!

Rating of this Fender product: 5

This Fender Squire Standard Series Electric Guitars Review Submitted By: Bongo

Review Date: 2003-01-31